My husband is in denial about his affair and I just want him out of the house’

My husband is in denial about his affair and I just want him out of the house’

Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan gives her advice to a mum of two who discovered dozens of sexy messages from another woman to her partner

Wife is feeling so stressed (Image: Getty Images)

Dear Coleen

I’m in horrible situation with my husband, who I’ve been with for nearly 10 years.

I discovered he was having an affair after becoming suspicious about his behaviour, so I checked his phone. Lo and behold, there were umpteen messages from a woman he works with who I’ve met in the past.

It was clear they’ve been sleeping together from the texts which were sexual and flirtatious, and there were lots of messages about arrangements to meet up when he’d told me he was “working late” or meeting his mates for a drink.

Obviously, I confronted him, but he was very defensive and claims it was “nothing” and won’t admit to having an affair.

He deleted all the messages, so the evidence has gone.

He’s now sleeping on the sofa and I just want him to leave. At first, I felt hurt and devastated, but now I’m just angry. We have an 18-month-old son and a three-year-old daughter, so I’m trying to hold myself together for their sake. I don’t know whether I can move on from this when he’s clearly still not being honest about what happened. Can you advise?

Coleen says

If he’d held his hands up and admitted to what was going on (obviously ­something), then it would be hard to move on, but if he’s lying to you, then it’s impossible to make any kind of positive progress.

I think you should ask him to leave and stay with friends or family because you need some space to process this.

Stress that it’s about the children – not about you or him – and it’s unfair for them to be uprooted from their home. I remember saying to one of my exes, either you go or I’m going, but if I go the kids are coming with me, and my kids were grown up at the time.

Your kids are still very young and their routine needs to be as normal as possible.

If your husband feels even an ounce of responsibility for blowing your marriage and wants to be a good parent, then he should be the one to go and allow you that space.

It’s so hard to deal with if a partner who’s wronged you is sleeping on the couch downstairs. Maybe once he’s moved out and you’ve spent some time apart, he’ll realise there’s no point in lying to you and he’ll start being honest.

Source: Mirror

Share this:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *